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TFL 022 150 150 Ben Coker

The Coaching Conundrum

Does having a ‘coach’ represent some sort of ‘failure’?

‘Coaching’ gets a bad press. Most people don’t really know what it IS, what it means to ‘have a coach’ or to ‘be coached’, but the fact is the vast majority of successful people – really successful people in business, sport and entertainment to name a few have people who ‘coach’ them. Unsuccessful people on the other hand, people who ‘get by’ or never quite achieve what they want, don’t believe they need someone to help and guide them. What they believe is they can do it by themselves and having someone ‘alongside’ is some measure of ‘failure’.

There are three different types of coach, and they help with three of the key domains of life: what you do, who you are and how you ‘live’. Sometimes we call them business coaches, fitness coaches (or personal trainers), life coaches and relationship coaches (or counsellors) but the name, the label, doesn’t really matter. Without a ‘coach’ or multiple coaches, you’re on your own, really on your own. It’s all down to you. In your youth you had coaches – your parents, your teachers and perhaps your peers but at some point, most people ‘fire’ them all. ‘I don’t need you anymore, I can do it on my own’.

Before I go any further, I’d like to clarify what I mean by ‘coach’. For the purposes of this discussion, I include mentors or guides, teachers or trainers, counsellors and therapists, indeed anyone in what Peter Thomson calls ‘the helping industry’ where we provide assistance on an individual or group level. From my experience I’ve found people want guidance and ideas, the what and the how they need to help them achieve rather than the ‘purist’ coaching which merely asks them a series of questions such as ‘what do you think you should do?’. I feel this makes clients feel inadequate rather than offering useful help.

How and where do you find your coaches? It depends on the role you want them to play. A business, sports or other vocational coach will need some knowledge and experience of what you do. A ‘life’, personal or relationship coach will need significant experience of ‘life’ and relationships, and so on. There are too many people who purport to be coaches who just don’t have these experiences, too many people less than 10 years out of school who just don’t have the crucial experience bank needed.

My personal opinion is, with some exceptions in sports, only people with at least 25 years post educational experience should be considered which makes them at least 45. What they should not be is someone who has bought a panacea ‘coaching system’ as the ultimate an only answer to everyone’s ‘coaching issues’. Anyone can be taught to ask questions, and a 25 year old professing to be a ‘life coach’ just doesn’t make sense. What comes out feels like some sort of interrogation to a predesigned script.

The key to successful coaching isn’t a ‘system’ but flexibility based on long term knowledge and experience. It’s, and always has been, the ‘elders’ who make the best coaches, guides, teachers and mentors because they’ve ‘been through it’, they ‘know’.

We all need coaches. I have two who I pay and a few others where it’s a mutual arrangement, but what’s the value of having a coach? What’s in it for you, what’s it ‘worth’?

Coaching will save you time. Coaching will save you from ‘mistakes’ – usually because the coach has made the mistakes and can help you avoid them. Coaching will save you from stress and anxiety – they’ve experienced it so you don’t have to. Coaches will empower you to make more money – much more than you invest in them. Coaches will guide you to freedom in whatever context it may be for you. Coaches will do all they can to facilitate your living the life you would love to live – or something better.

If this has intrigued you and you want to know more have a chat with me. You know where to reach me.

How To Make Your ‘Resolutions’ Work

New Year Resolutions don’t work. Why? Because they aren’t part of what you do, just ‘extras’ you’d like to do. To make them work you’d have to change your habits which isn’t easy. Simple, but not easy.
But there is a way, and I can help you do it. I can help you get going from day 1.
Here’s how it works. Right now, make a simple list, just one liners, of up to 8 things you’d like to achieve in 2024 and then put them in the order you want then to happen.

If these things are important to you and what you really want in 2024 book a call with me.

I’ll ask you to do a couple more things before the call and then we’ll spend an hour or so building your personal ‘Plan24’ with a clear set of tasks to make sure you get all those things done.
Now here’s the thing. Every month I’ll check in with you for 10 minutes to see where you’re up to and, if needed, help get you back on track before it’s too late.
This service is just £98 and could save you a lot more depending on what you would have decided to do, or not do. Remember for this you get around 3 hours of one to one help from me throughout the year as well as your personal plan.
You can book a session now but Don’t leave it too late, there are only a few days left and limited spaces available.
I look forward to working with you and helping you make your 2024 a great success.

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There’s no charge for any of this and it gives you access to knowledge and information about how we, you and I can start to make this happen for ourselves – increase the control we have over our lives, reduce the power others have over us and begin to find, fund, and feel our own freedom.

What Is The Freedom Academy?

Problem Solving and Opportunity Development

The Freedom Academy provides coaching, therapy, and learning. We have lots of resources you can use and will be holding many evets you can attend. Our learning and coaching programmes span three levels: ‘Learning’ (the basics), ‘Development’ (advanced level) and ‘Transformation’ (the ‘graduate’ level). In other words, the ‘what’, the ‘why’, and the ‘how’ of life.

You can join on a ‘one-off’ basis taking one programme at a time, or you can become a member when you’ll get a set of programmes and resources available to you depending on your level. Even when you just register for free you get access to parts of the Academy.

Our mission is to free you from the constraints of the third dimension and introduce you to what you can achieve in the fourth and fifth and beyond. We’d love to have you on board.