Your Greatest Fears

The other day I met someone who was really nervous.

Granted he was giving his very first two minute impromptu speech at a Toastmasters meeting but that wasn’t really the reason.

The question was about describing your greatest fears or dreams.

You see, his greatest dream is also his greatest fear.

Now you and I know it’s quite easy and even common to put these two things together – we can even find ourselves doing it – sometimes!

Sometimes you and I may have a big ambition or a dream that we have no idea how to achieve – which may generate fear.

Or we may be facing a major transition such as the prospect of life beyond work. What will happen when we leave full time employment?

You and I can create false evidence in our heads that appears to be real or true.

It usually starts with a ‘what if’’ question and then because we don’t know quite how to get to where we want to go or what will happen along the way we become uncertain.

And you and I know only too well that uncertainty quickly develops into fear of the unknown.

And we also know that just because something, or the outcome of something is ‘unknown’ this (and we know this to be true) rarely means that its ‘bad’.

It’s just ‘different’ – but of course there are many people, many people, convinced ‘different’ is automatically ‘bad’ – from their point of view.

What is ‘bad’ though, is fear.

There is an oft repeated phrase “We have nothing to fear but fear itself” which I believe originally derives from an essay by Sir Francis Bacon who wrote “Nothing is terrible except fear itself”.

You see, its only ‘false evidence appearing real’ stopping you and I attempting anything we want to do.

Yes, things may ‘go wrong’ along the way but not starting ‘just in case’ they go wrong (through fear) is always bad in itself because we become discontented and unhappy, even upset and angry with ourselves because we’ve not even attempted to do what we promised ourselves we would.

So you and I, when we ‘come to our senses’ and go ahead with what we want to do, eschew ‘fear’ and just ‘deal’ with any problems or issues as they arise.

And if the way we want to go is ‘shut’ or blocked then you and I find another way around, over, or even through whatever is holding us back.

You and I just decide to ‘face the problem when we come to it’ and continue to move forwards towards our goals.

We can only be stopped by fear.

But the speaker had compounded his problem.

It quickly became apparent that his primary fear was the fear of making a decision – or making the wrong decision.

He is a young man in his twenties and that may have something to do with it as he probably hasn’t yet learnt, as you and I know – decisions are never ‘wrong’.

You see, whenever you and I make a decision for ourselves it is at that time and in those circumstances, the ‘right’ decision – otherwise we wouldn’t have made it would we?

And you and I can always make another ‘right’ decision to reverse the previous decision if it, to us, is the right thing to do!

Of course, other people may think you or I are making the wrong decision, but, really, the decisions you and I make are none of their business. We may invite them to comment and may take their views into consideration, but that’s up to us.

So with confidence, and the reassurance that you and I can always ‘change our minds’, make your next decision, and your next, without any ‘fear’ of being ‘wrong’.