Emotional and Relationship Traps

To escape from these traps, which you and I can, is usually difficult and often painful. I know, it’s happened far too often in my life. I’ve been in and out of these more than once. I’m still in at least one of each!
One of the difficulties is they’re quite often combined, entangled together. Now, I can help you out of these traps as I have with many other people, friends and clients, but what I can’t do it stop you falling into them again.

There are quite a few people I know in the process of getting into these traps, but will they ‘stop digging’? – sadly not.

I’m talking about emotional and relationship traps. Let’s be clear for a moment – when people talk about ‘relationships’ they’re usually thinking about one to one, usually intimate, relationships. But this covers all types of relationships with parents, children, neighbours, friends, employees, employers, colleagues, and so on.

These relationships can all manifest traps. These two situations tend to sit on top of or override everything else, all the potential traps I’ve discussed before. They have the power to take us over and throw us into complete confusion When we become unable to realise or become aware what’s going on.

Whatever else we’re doing or involved in, even other traps we find ourselves in, relationship and emotional matters will distract us immeasurably from everything else going on in our lives.

What are these traps? How do they work? What are they all about?
Let’s start with emotional traps, these are all about how you or I feel, which is why they’re so closely entwined with relationship matters. Sometimes they lay dormant for years or decades, having been ‘salted’ in us as children. When situations arise in later life they’ll appear as something like’ I have a bad feeling about this’, ‘I’m not comfortable about this’ – but -the thing is, this is in conflict, sharp conflict, with something we really want to do or are you doing. We’ll go ahead with whatever it is, or persist with whatever it is, but we’ll be really uncomfortable about what we’re doing or feeling.

It’s hard to describe. There isn’t any general way I can put it, but you and I know when we feel it and when it’s there. If you’re feeling uncomfortable about what’s going on in your life right now, then let’s talk. An ‘outside’ view always casts more light on the situation.

Relationship traps aren’t a lot more straightforward but tend to be more ‘concrete’ in that we usually know, or think we know, what the problem is. I need to qualify that a bit. Relationship traps usually arise when the two sides of the relationship (singular or plural) don’t see things in quite the same way but each assumes the other understands their point of view and believes they’re both singing from the same hymn sheet. In other words, there’s a fundamental mismatch existing between the parties involved.

There are many levels of this trap at each is unique as how many of the others. If you’re in one, or think you might be, that I can help. I’ve been in a few in my time, and I’m told I’m quite good at helping with them. You know where to find me.

I hope this has been helpful, there aren’t any generic answers, they’re all specific. If you want to escape, if you want help, you know what to do.