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TFL 024 150 150 Ben Coker

The Love Paradigm

What is ‘Love’ all about?

What is Love?

The answer to this question has been eluding ‘mankind’ for aeons. It’s not even clear when this first became so important to us. It doesn’t help the English language has such a hard time with it. We use the same word to express our feelings towards our pets, our job, our sport, our possessions, our spouse or life partner, sexual activity, our parents, works of art, music, our children, our country and so on and on, and all this serves to do is completely confuse the issue!

Other languages don’t have so much of a problem but still fail to address what ‘love’ under any of its descriptions actually IS.

Back to basics. Everything is energy and this includes thought, emotion and feelings and it also includes the activities around sexual intercourse which we include under the heading of ‘love’.

We also use the concept of love as some sort of contract – being ‘in love’ with someone in almost all cultures defines things we are ‘allowed’ or not allowed to do, ways we allowed or expected to behave and things we are ‘supposed’ to do or be. We make all sorts of commitments, often on a very long term basis, to other people and to various organisations, in the name of ‘love’.

My good friend Adrian Henri (of the ‘Liverpool Scene’) wrote:

Love is you and love is me

Love is a prison and love is free

Love is what’s there when you’re away from me

Love is . . .

Let’s see if we can dissect this and look at it inter-dimensionally. First the sexual bit is entirely third dimensional, it’s a requirement, an agreement we as spiritual beings made with our host, the human part of us, to procreate the species. It’s a win-win situation as it helps us, as infinite beings, by providing more hosts for others to occupy as new incarnations.

There is no inherent connection between sex which is purely third dimensional and conscious mind based, and other forms of love which are by definition, based on feelings and thoughts – a purely fourth/fifth dimensional trait, although we do in general seem to find it pleasurable. There is no clear spiritual connection between sexual ‘love’ and other expressions of love other than the cultural connections and reservations we have made (third dimensionally) and imposed on our various societies.

Close examination of history including so called ‘spiritual’ books and the key religious doctrines bears this out revealing it to be a relatively recent phenomenon. The idea of ‘monogamy’ which binds sexual love to spiritual love is in the grand scheme of things quite new and was largely developed in an attempt to ensure an increase in population within various empires and states both religious and political (which are of course the same thing).

Back in the day the idea of multiple sexual partners on both sides of a spiritually based partnership of love was normal. The idea of monogamy grew up in alliance with the concept of ownership – specifically of women by men, and is only just beginning to break down.

We have a ‘need’ for love, for connection, both on a spiritual and physical level but it’s highly unlikely we’ll find it all in only one person. In fact, we won’t, because some of these needs relate to parent and childhood and relations with others on a higher spiritual level not involving third dimensional involvement. It may be we (or some of us) have a ‘Soul mate’ or ‘Twin Flame’ but it’s more likely this is a spiritual rather than physical relationship.

We need to take a different view and connect at whatever level we feel appropriate with everyone else who we feel is ‘right’. Most of all we should adopt the maxim of being ‘polyamorous’ (loving everyone we are drawn to in an appropriate way) and self-partnered. After all, there is only one of us. We are all individuations of the Universe and by definition we all ‘love’ each other because the Universe is ‘Love’ itself.

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