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TFL 032 150 150 Ben Coker

Lifestyle Traps

The life-plan traps and how to escape

In the last 12 months, apart from being in the financial trap I talked about last time, I also find myself in a ‘Lifestyle’ trap. This may really be two traps in one, the ‘retirement’ trap where people have certain expectations of you not to be behaving or living a particular way, and the ‘age’ trap which is similar.

If you find yourself there as well, be assured we can escape from both despite some resistance from various quarters. I don’t have space here to explain how we deal with these situational traps, but if you’re interested, I can help you escape!

Most people find themselves in what I call the ‘Plan A’ trap. This is what we’re told, usually by family or school, how things are ‘supposed to be’. ‘Plan A’, and I’ve described this before, is the western cultural formula – or at least the one which has been in place since the industrial revolution.

This plan, this trap, goes like this – “go to school, get a qualification, get a job working for someone else, maybe get married and have a family, retire and die”. A spokeswoman for the National Union of teachers a few years ago said “Our job is to prepare people for the world of work” – nothing more. This is the ‘approved’ plan for life. If you don’t conform to this, you’re not ‘normal’. What happens after work isn’t covered at all, neither any of the many alternatives to this life plan.

f you’re in Plan A, like it or not, you’re in a trap and of course I have multiple options to help you escape – if you want to.
I realise I’ve ‘gone on’ a bit about this and it is something of a ‘bee in my bonnet’, but it pains me so much human potential is locked away in this trap.

It’s likely, if you’re reading this, you aren’t in the traps I’ve described so far. Let’s look at a couple more. Many of us have decided to vary Plan A into what I call Plan B, which is similar, but instead of being employed by someone else, we’ve set up our own business and employ ourselves.
Without exploring the ins and outs of how business works, it’s very easy for this to become a trap as well – if we allow it to. Plan B may remove the ‘qualifications’ step and may eliminate the ‘retirement’ step and it could seriously damage the family experience if it’s not kept under control – but that’s another story.

Plan C is another lifestyle, far more flexible than the others, in which we are essentially choosing our life pattern as we go along. It can include elements of the other lifestyles for part of the time and of course we need to know how to avoid or deal with the inherent traps of the other models.

In itself this isn’t a trap, but it can by its nature, after a space of time, preclude other options usually because in some way or other we no longer ‘qualify’ to adopt them. Generally, though, in my view, it’s the ‘way to go’ and the option I’ve been pursuing since I was still in education. This is a key area of my expertise so if you’d like to know more about it you know what to do!

There are other traps to mention.

One is the ‘health trap’ of which there are two varieties. I once had a neighbour who was, probably still is, an obsessive hypochondriac. She was never content unless she could find something wrong with her despite being perfectly healthy. This isn’t about health, rather a self imposed psychological trap – at least it is in her case.

The real health traps result from many conditions which at the present state of conventional medical science cannot be resolved other than simply treating the symptoms. The trap is not the state of health but the belief it can only be managed by a doctor using conventional methods and being of the opinion that any form of holistic or alternative treatment has no value, is some sort of ‘scam’ or even witchcraft!

There is a huge volume of experience of people resolving even so-called ‘terminal’ health problems by following different, alternative, treatment routes – again, far too large a subject to go into here.
These are just some of the situational lifestyle traps. Some more ‘permanent’ than others, but in my view, there is always a way out if you want it. The only proviso is it’s very hard indeed to do it by yourself (I know, I’ve tried) and external help is needed which of course is what I do.

Next time I’ll look at a few more ‘traps’, in particular the related ‘emotional’ and ‘relationship’ traps – everyone gets into them some time or other, I certainly have.

If you’d like to disccuss lifestyle traps and how to get out of them please do book a call with me free of charge

MY PROMISE

My Purpose is: through the value I provide using my skills, knowledge, experience, creativity and intuition –
to help you progress, achieve your goals, and get what you want in life.
to help you – move forward, escape, and progress on your personal journey and enterprise.
to help you move closer to an understanding of who you really are and who you will become
My Core Values
keeping promises I make to myself and others, giving full value in what I do, helping others get what they want in life, speaking the truth as I see it, making a difference one step at a time.

CONSULTANCY