It’s All Too Much

It’s All Too Much 150 150 Ben Coker

It’s All Too Much

Or perhaps I should have said that ‘All’ is ‘too much’.

I’ve found from my own experience and talking with others that the idea of creating a ‘big vision’, a ‘dream’ or even an overriding goal for life is sometimes just ‘too much’ to cope with.

It can become overwhelming, yet this is what a lot of personal development teachers seem to expect us to do.

So what happens?

Many people just don’t do it. They don’t move forward with their lives, they don’t turn their goals, dreams or visions into reality because it’s just ‘all too much’.

Too much information.

Not to take in but to generate.

You see when you and I set our goals, build our dreams and create our vision of how we are choosing our lives to be, we don’t do it by just having one ‘big picture’.

But that’s what most people who embark on this think they have to do, probably because they may not have paid attention to what they were listening to or perhaps things weren’t explained as well as they could have been.

A good way to look at this is to think of a vision board.

When you or I create a vision board it’s not just one picture. It’s a collection of different things, pictures, quotations, affirmations and so on – each one representing a different part of our ‘dream’ or vision, each ne representing a different desire and a different goal.

However much we desire to achieve the ‘whole thing’ we know we’re not going to achieve it all at once, in one ‘big bang’ transformation!

The transformation from where we are now to achieving everything on the board is a journey, and the journey is part of the ‘dream’.

There are ‘stage’ goals on the way, just like I described the learning process as a jigsaw, the transformation process is much the same.

There are different parts to the jigsaw, different things to focus on and manifest at different times.

And even then, we don’t complete all of a particular area of the jigsaw big picture at once. We do a bit, achieve a goal, and then move to another area or domain of life – and then we come back and pick up where we left off. It’s an iterative process.

We can divide ‘life’ into several different ‘domains’. It doesn’t matter how many. Some people say there are four, some five, some seven – but it’s up to you how many there are, and what they are.

I’ve defined these before, more than once so I won’t go into the detail of how I personally see them again.

You have a list of goals you would love to achieve, a list of burning desires. How would you classify your list? How many domains would you identify in your life and what are they?

Here’s the thing – I’ve discovered for myself and I’ve helped clients discover that they are not achieving one or more of their goals because there is a conflict.

An incompatibility between two or more of their goals or even burning desires.

Achieving one particular goal in one domain may make it impossible to achieve a goal in another domain – or at least make it extremely difficult, especially if the desire is to achieve both goals in the same timeframe.

Being simplistic, you cannot go to see the Northern Lights and visit Antarctica at the same time!

Review your goals, dreams and ambitions, check for conflict say between goals in the ‘relationships’ area and the ‘career’ area (which is where the conflicts occur most often by the way).

See if you can align your goals on a timeline – in what ‘order’ do you wish to achieve them?

Are there any that depend on having achieved another beforehand?

Do some goals have less clarity than others and do you need to work on that clarity to make them achievable?

Do you have goals which are dependent on other people, that have to do with being part of a group or team?

There is often conflict between personal goals and collective goals and this can often lead to the ‘dark side’ of goal setting or dream building.

Look carefully at the goals you are working towards.

Are they your goals or are they someone else’s goals?

It happens a lot in organisations where there is a ‘corporate goal’ that everyone is supposed to subscribe to and take it on as ‘their’ goal or where there are a set of ‘grades’ or ‘levels’ that people are expected to achieve.

In these situations, I’ve known very many people whose personal goals, the goals they joined the organisation to facilitate, have been subverted such that they become completely focused on the ‘company’ goals and abandon their own.

Be very careful about goals where your achievement depends on others ‘playing a part’ or ‘contributing’ as it usually leads to disappointment.

You and I are only and completely responsible for the achievement or realisation of our own personal goals. Collective goals only work when everyone is in agreement to take on that goal as a personal goal and work together to achieve it.

Imposed goals may be achieved but do not really contribute to your ‘big picture vision board’.

We take on imposed goals, and yes, I’ve done that in the past, because we are convinced that achieving that ‘company goal’ will facilitate achieving a pre-existing personal goal. It does happen, but it is rare; what usually happens is that we take on the next imposed goal believing it will get us to where we want to be.

Check out your goals, break down your big picture, if you don’t have a vision board make one.

Make sure all the goals you are striving to achieve are yours, not someone else’s and don’t attempt to persuade others to buy in to your goals – all that does is generate conflict through inconsistency.

Get your goals in order, make sure they are aligned with one another and then make a plan and take the action required to achieve your next success.